Its so crap, its actually good

I watched Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.

It is stupidly crap, that’s what happens when you have a bong in a brainstorming session. But the thing is, it is so incredibly crap. šŸ™‚

How bad could it be? The answer: Amazingly bad. Phenomenally bad. Utterly horrific. Not the worst movie ever, but close. When your movie wishes it was as good as Battlefield Earth, you know you have a problem. It wasn’t even the good kind of bad, where you can laugh at the unintentional humour.

I know this is a low budget D-list movie, but come on – the effects and CGI were stunningly bad. They looked like they were done on my laptop over a weekend. They might have been acceptable in the early 90s.

To make it even worse, many of the CGI scenes were constantly repeated. Whenever the shark or octopus attacked, you usually saw it preparing or approaching for the attack several times using the exact same footage. Sometimes they even bothered to mirror image the scene to make it look different.

So many of the details were amazingly unrealistic. The dialogue was bad, the way people behaved and delivered lines, physics (as in what animals of that size could actually do), torpedoes were like firecrackers, etc.

There was this laughably bad science scene where the main characters keep dumping vials of various coloured liquids into test tubes of other coloured stuff and then they all looked disappointed. This happened for about 5 brain numbing minutes. All without any dialogue or any clue as to what they were actually doing. We only knew they were looking for a “solution” to the problem of giant sea monsters. I guess dumping red goo into a vat of blue gunk and having it not turn a different colour is not a solution to giant sea monsters. I am glad they tried that, it might have worked! There was an embarrassingly bad romance side plot thrown in, and the build up to the final showdown was dull, and then that showdown was short and filled with repeats of the same footage over and over.

Go see it. šŸ™‚

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